The absence of sex in marriage from a male perspective

Marriage and relationship without sex:

When sex ceases to be a priority, is there a deeper problem in the relationship and if so how do we solve it? How necessary is sex in a relationship?
Most men - if not all - will agree that sex is the most important - if not the most important - part of a relationship. It is a cornerstone. One can imagine the relationship as a building, there are the bricks, the planks, the irons etc but they will all fall easily with an earthquake if there is no cement, sex is the positive cement of the relationship. The cohesive bond that holds the building together in the most difficult times.

A lot can happen to a couple, disagreements, skirmishes, character inconsistencies. Sex has the magical property of bringing one another closer together, and it makes all minorities and skirmishes look really small and petty in front of what we have with our other half.

In a close relationship, a couple who have been together for years, it is perfectly reasonable to encounter difficulties and sometimes disputes. Unfortunately according to experts even disputes must be handled in a specific way so as not to leave negative residue and bitterness day by day on one another. Here's how to get out of every fight in the relationship

But in practice, according to experts in relationship and human behavior (they may not know anything) things are very simple. Because precisely the main byproduct of squabbles is bitterness and distancing one another, and this results in an ever lower frequency of sex between the couple (which in turn brings even greater distances to one another) we just have to learn

"To give place to rage" in other words just to forget our anger.

For both man and woman, it is difficult to have a desire for the other when we do not feel close to him but instead feel annoyed with him. But at the end of the day, most of the time when we look at the reasons why we argue most of the time, these are trivial things that we can hardly remember. What is left of us and we feel strangled by our own right is anger, bitterness and frustration. Negative emotions for trivial causes. Believe me if you feel that way, it's more likely that the other person feels the same, and in a relationship the point is not to prove who is right in the other, it makes no sense, we are supposed to be together because we like each other and have a good time together that we want to spend the rest of his life with. Relationship has no winners and losers, we are in the same team, we win together, or we lose together.

So what went wrong? It is as if day by day we have left and accumulated all these little negatives, and have reached the point of becoming a huge lump of small and insignificant but now looking at us with high threats to our relationship and, of course, to our sex life. In most cases abstinence from sex is the symptom and not the problem, although from one point on, it also ends up being part of the problem as it creates a vicious circle and in combination we foolishly allow them to become great, eventually they add up and in the end we do not have the other half of our beloved that we have and the negatives but the positives outweigh us, but a man who only negatively feels he has us.

The relationship is like nature. That we sow will reap, we are certainly not letting problems and disagreements creep in without addressing them. What we are saying is that all this is normal, it is up to us to treat them as they are, small everyday human disagreements with the man we love, and not to give them enormous dimensions, it is up to us. So by getting closer to the other, with a caress, a meaningful conversation, a loving look, a kiss and more ... giving way to our selfishness, we break this vicious circle and day by day we do small, non-existent.

It may not be easy in the first place but we must not rush to frustration, we must face every obstacle with positive communication and soon the other half of the relationship will face us with suspicion and with certainty that even the smallest and insignificant is going to spark a nuclear war in the relationship. It goes without saying that we never, ever use sex, but rather the threat of no sex to solve relationship problems, other than being the cheapest way to end a relationship. As well as it is logical and obvious if one of the two repeatedly is not satisfied, eventually getting to the point of avoiding action. Sometimes the simplest endings are the most difficult in this life, and the simplest is communication, to talk our problem beautifully to the other, and the solution will surely be found. There are infinite ways to satisfy one another, imagination is the only limit when there is desire and true love. After all, one of the sexiest things in a relationship is communication!

Some will say that sex is not necessary, as long as there is love, and for some it may be true, depending on the priorities and the particular situations that we may even experience as a human being. But we are talking about other cases, and yet it is no coincidence that eight out of the ten relationships that eventually break down, both sides are confident in claiming that they continue and love each other but no longer have the energy you require and the psychic resources to be one with the other. And it's a shame because they just fell into the trap, held each other's ego and let the little ones grow up. Sex is the sexiest and most loving way to show how we feel about each other and how much we desire our spouce, and if you think about it, love even beats death ...!

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  1. Perfectly composed articles. Thank you for the share.

    Nahid |